The Fall
by Raynidreams
Summary: The morning after Kara burns her body, Kara/Leoben. S4.


"If that's me lying there, then what am I? What am I?" she yelled, her agonised cry following him for miles through the decaying scrub and twisted trees.

When he had looked at her in that instant, he'd no longer seen the flawed and damaged fighter pilot he'd always known. The clouded woman with the swirls of her past holding her down. He hadn't even seen in her the denial about a future, a destiny that grasped at her, hauling her unwillingly down its own secret path.

The lack of knowledge or sureity in response to her question had terrified him. Just seeing that ravaged dead body had shuttered his soul. It was as though God had slammed a gate against him. He thought he'd seen her destiny before, that he knew it, but all he'd seen were glimpses of certain possibilities through the mist. _Shards of the truth. _And so he'd run. From it, from her, from the unknowing. He'd run, breath fractured and heart pumping, he'd run. The was no greater fear than that of loss, and he'd lost her so completely. _Or so he thought._

At a safe distance away he'd stopped and collapsed. There he'd witnessed the distant glow and smoke as darkness fell. There he'd realised that empty of the truth, he'd been afraid to stay with her but ultimately too terrified to leave her forever behind. So he'd waited, but not for long. She'd come to him perhaps seconds, maybe even hours later. Then again, it could have been days for how much sense time now made to him. Time had lost its meaning for now he only saw her. _Felt her._

He didn't question why she'd come to him like this after he'd run. He only believed in it; stole from it. Here on Earth, this is where it would be.

Leoben ran his fevered hands through her hair, not able to get close enough or deep enough. Not able to hold her down. His panic at seeing her dead in the wreckage of her Viper was expelled from his mind by the feel of her mouth against his and the press of her rough fatigues against his chest which sent heightened friction down his spine. It ignited a lust in him that he'd only ever felt once before, in those few precious moments on New Caprica. He said he'd never forget that kiss and the words she'd whispered into his mouth, and by God he remembered. He'd been able to bring back time and time again those brief moments of delirious insanity. Every detail was etched into his soul; her look of fear as it mixed with rage, surprise... and something akin to love.

He'd admired the full spectrum of her emotions as they'd clouded her face by turns.

He remembered the way her lips were darker and bruised after that first touch to his.

He remembered the catch of her breath and the way her pale hair felt in his hands.

He recalled the huskiness of her voice after the second time he'd made her tell him that she loved him. A rawness that every time he thought about it, it made his breath come harder and his heart pump faster. It pushed his recollections further into remembering that last long agonisingly slow step down to press her up against the wall where he relished in the memory of taking their deepest kiss. _Their moment of fire._ Then to how with regret partly in her eyes, she plunged the knife into his side. There had been a dull thud as the bloody knife fell to the floor.

_Yes_, he remembered everything.

And yet, these memories were blown aside at the feel of her now.

Leoben tightened his hands on her wrists, either side of her face.

"Don't fight, don't fight," he whispered, the words seeming to come out of a dream. _The best kind of dream._

Her sleep deprived eyes fixed onto his as she met his mouth fierce kiss for kiss. She smelt of wood smoke and rain. He swallowed her gasp as he lifted her up, pushing harder against the broken, ruined wall. He pulled her shirts up over her head, catching them in her tangled hair then lifting the pale strands from her face, before then tearing the remains of his own shirt and fatigues off.

Kneeling before her he steadied her waist, bracing her against the damp stone face and then striped the rest of her clothing away. He'd never seen her this way before, this bare and exposed. For a moment, the heat seemed to clear from her face and a shard of vulnerability entered her stance. Leoben knew this was the crossroads, the time in which she'd either run, kill him, or finish what she'd started. Her hands came to rest on his throat, mirroring the hold he had on her hips. She looked down on him and all he could see was the shape of the human gods in her figure and vengefulness.

This wasn't about love, it was about revenge.

Kara pushed him back with a demanding urgency. Startled, he fell with her, knowing that this would happen out of rage, lust and fear... when all he wanted was love.

* * *

The dampness leaked into everything and he shivered. Leoben leaned up on his elbow to look at her but she turned away on her side. She was quiet. _Too quiet._

"Kara?" he asked gently.

"You're right', she whispered. 'You're right…"

He waited for something special.

She twisted to look at him, "I've lost my taste for empty affairs."

Her dark eyes took him in a moment longer and then she got to her feet and slowly pulled her marred clothing back on. She left.

He lay there feeling the coldness seep further into his body, sensing the numbness stealing in. He could die here. It would be so easy, to just rest and watch the grey sky drip rain forever down on his body in the place where it would lay not far from her ashes.

He blinked awake.

Freezing, Leoben dressed and with laden feet, and followed in her footsteps.


End file.
